Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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