Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize