Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize