I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
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answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
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We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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