Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
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