her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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