I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize