So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
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