I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
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That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize