I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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