No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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