There is no way he is gay with that hair.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
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