Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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