i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
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I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
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My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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