we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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