He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize