Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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