Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize