Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
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so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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