He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
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ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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