Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize