i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize