His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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