The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
