Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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