he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
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I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
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Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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