Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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