i think my tv is drunk
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Use "feeling words"
Yay
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize