I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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