Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize