I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
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you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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