If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
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She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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