is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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