I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize