i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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