i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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