he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
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I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
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I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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