Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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