I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize