when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize