so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
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A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
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Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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