But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
barbara walters just said penis...
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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