dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
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I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
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I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I party with great urgency now.
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