it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
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I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
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Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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