fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Farmville is her only friend.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize