He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
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he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
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Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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