Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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