He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I am midnight drunk by noon
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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