i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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