We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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