I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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